Is Nerve Lantern Right for You?


Feeling a lack of performative literature in your life?

Need a commercial to help you feel like performance texts will improve your ability to cope in a world full of commercials?

Then this advertisement for the literary journal Nerve Lantern: Axon of Performance Literature can help!

Studies show that over a hundred pages of Nerve Lantern issue 6 prove effective in fighting restless mind syndrome, verbal impotence, and poetic apathy.

Side effects include:

  • wakefulness
  • inexplicable joy
  • hot flash fiction
  • lucid dreaming
  • impulsively repeating favorite lines aloud
  • inspiration attacks
  • multiple vocality disorder
  • original thoughts
  • hyper-activism
  • sudden inability to write or read yet another poem about ravens

Do not read Nerve Lantern if you are, or think you might be, impregnable to language and ideas.

Nerve Lantern should not be read while watching tv talent shows, as the interaction could cause you to turn off the tv.

Imaginatively coined words in Nerve Lantern may cause you to edit. Tell your librarian if you experience a correction lasting longer than four hours.

No need to ask your high school English teacher if Nerve Lantern is right for you. No reason to languish in bed, longing for poets’ theatre.

Order a copy of Nerve Lantern and feel your neurons take the spotlight!

Fortunately, these claims have not been approved by the FDA.

How to Order:

The Nerve Lantern community thanks you for your support!